


your footsteps (trailing behind mine)

by cosmicfrownies



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Confusion, Eventual Romance, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Questioning of Sexuality, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Frustration, Slow Burn, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-01-29 10:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21408496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicfrownies/pseuds/cosmicfrownies
Summary: Felix has always viewed the likes of romance as simply unimportant to his survival and improvement of his swordsmanship. However, being a noble will most likely result in an arranged marriage with a random noblewoman. Confusion and questioning of attraction ensues.Featuring all the other problems of being a teenager and growing into an adult. Such as the typical battles, learning reason magic, dealing with an idiot of a best friend, and slowly developing feelings through all of these events.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction that I've really written, however only the first chapter is written as of right now, so much is subject to change. There are tags that may be added and the rating may be changed at a later point. My computer isn't working right now, so I have to use my phone, and I've had trouble with custom tags on my phone in the past. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :)

The training grounds had cleared out a little while ago, which left Felix alone, swinging at training dummies with all his might, practicing various techniques until his arms gave out. His grip on the training sword was loose and his swings were becoming more and more sloppy as time passed. The sunlight that once flitted in through the windows was replaced by the dim moonlight. 

I should probably head to the dining hall soon before it closes for the evening. He huffed at the thought and put the training sword away. As he did so, he heard the doors swing open with great force followed by a voice he knew all too well.

"Hey, Felix!" Sylvain practically shouted, causing Felix to cringe a bit. 

"What do you want?" Felix spat, grimacing. 

Sylvain just continued beaming, unfazed by the other boy's words. He knew there was no bite behind them. "You've been training here practically all day. C'mon, let's eat, the dining hall is closing soon."

"I was heading there. Alone."

"Come on, Felix, we haven't eaten together in a few days. Is this how best friends are supposed to treat each other?" He pouted slightly, something that, when paired with those mocha brown eyes, would come off as an irresistible puppy-dog expression to the ladies. However, this was Felix, and pathetic pouts and pretty brown eyes did not work on Felix. 

"You heard what I said, now go on and let me eat alone," Felix practically ordered, walking towards the doors of the training grounds. An arm quickly closed against his wrist and held him right where he stood despite his protests. 

"Sylvain…" he snarled, "you're lucky I don't have a sword on me at the moment." The one time I don't, I swear. 

"Felix, there's no need for that, you know you love me. Now come on, let's head to the dining hall for a nice meal," he tugged Felix along, not letting go of his wrist.

The two boys soon arrived at the dining hall and, much to Felix's relief, it was empty, save for Dorothea and Petra who were thankfully engaged in a conversation and did not notice their arrival. Linhardt was also napping in the corner, but he wouldn't have gone out of his way to talk with them. Felix would much rather eat alone, it was simply more efficient. He had no need for idle chatter as he ate. Food was a necessity and he'd rather just eat it and get it over with.

However, due to his thoughts he failed to notice a familiar scent wafting through the air. Beast meat teppanyaki. Felix couldn't help but find some dishes delicious and sometimes he had to savor them a little. 

He looked over to Sylvain who was grinning, as he usually did, and noticed that his hand was still clasped around his wrist. 

Quickly shaking his arm out of Sylvain's grip, he went over and grabbed a plate of the delicious daily special. He heard Sylvain release a quick gasp, but then heard his footsteps quickly follow. He muttered a quick thanks to the lady who served him his plate and headed over to the nearest table, wasting no time to start chowing down. 

"Wow, you could've at least waited for me," Sylvain plopped himself down and began eating as well. 

Felix swallowed the bite he had been chewing. "Look, I didn't ask for you to accompany me here today. I'm perfectly satisfied eating alone, in fact even more so."

Sylvain laughed, "I'm sure, I'm sure. You need to eat with others at some point, you can't just train alone all day and then eat alone. Do you want me to help you find a cute girl?" 

Felix glared daggers at him and just continued eating. 

"Fine, fine, but regardless, it's important to spend time with others. You know I'm always here for you, whether it be girl problems or anything else," he grinned and it was so like Sylvain. To be so reliable, yet so unreliable, and of course to bring up the matters of women. Felix grimaced. Sylvain was truly dense. 

But perhaps his words had some truth to them. But he also wasn't one to bare his soul and every little emotion unlike someone like Annette, who showed her brilliant smile as much as her eyebrows creased and forehead wrinkled in concern. Not that her smile was brilliant of course, but he was sure someone like Ashe would think so. Speaking of whom, Ashe was much the same, pink often dusted across his freckled cheeks in embarrassment and his voice would raise in fear when ghosts were brought up, even though he definitely wasn't scared. Even the boar himself showed emotion, he smiled whenever the Professor showed a rare smile and of course there was the anger. The anger and thirst for revenge that made him such a disgusting animal. 

Felix shook himself out of such thoughts, he just kept a scowl on his face and had no reason to share what he felt. Why did it matter? 

Those like Sylvain with a grin or a smirk on their face at all times, unless they were expressing falsified concern. Sylvain would always mope over a girl that he upset because he was chatting up another one at the same time, only to bounce back the next day, happily chatting with a new girl hand-in-hand. It wasn't real. 

Felix realized his plate was empty, he was too focused on his thoughts. He'd be damned if this happened on the battlefield. Not that it ever did, generally his introspections and musings were left to the times he spent alone, often laying in bed as he tried to fall asleep. He sighed as he realized that it would be one of those nights again. 

Sylvain looked at him, "Are you sure you're alright? You didn't spend all day hashing it out to training dummies out of frustration towards something or someone did you?" 

"No, I didn't. I'll be leaving now. Good night, Sylvain." He didn't look back at Sylvain as he walked into the chilly air outside. Thankfully, Sylvain didn't follow him. He walked briskly towards his personal quarters, he knew the way by heart, even in the dim lighting. 

It seemed as though luck was on his side, as he walked through the hallway to his room, nobody lingered outside of their rooms. If they did, Felix didn't see them and he was glad. He didn't care much for the small talk he shared with many of the other students at the academy. 

It felt like forever, but he finally reached his room. He kicked off his boots and took off his light armor, leaving himself only in the light linen clothing he wore beneath. He took those off and tossed on his night clothes and plopped into bed. Thoughts flooded his mind, the dam of the day crumbling as it did nearly every night. 

Sylvain's words did indeed hold truth. Felix wasn't one to be vulnerable though, he couldn't. Sylvain had always brought the topic of conversation to girls. He thought girls could solve every issue. There was Ingrid too, sure they had known each other for nearly all of their lives, but she always managed to make it about his damned brother. He did appreciate his friendship with the two, sure, but he just couldn't share his vulnerabilities, his flaws, or his emotions with them. 

There were people like Mercedes who would gladly listen to his problems, but he didn't know her well enough to bring himself to confide in her. 

He sighed as he sunk further into his bed and beneath the covers. Unfortunately the root of his issue as of late had been girls. Or rather, attraction in general. He wasn't interested in whatever Sylvain did with girls. He wasn't interested in finding a perfect partner, unlike Dorothea. He wasn't stuck pining over a dead man he'd previously been engaged to, unlike Ingrid. However, he could relate to Ingrid's troubles in a sense. The thought of being married to a random noblewoman did not appeal to him in the least. 

If he were to marry, he wanted a say in the matter, and though he doubted he'd find "the one" he wanted to feel something towards the person he'd marry. 

The monastery had some decent options, even to Felix. There was Annette, who was cute and sweet, who'd sing songs whenever she was hungry, and who he may have had the slightest crush on at some point. (It was hard to tell though, since he was terrible with his own feelings) There was Dorothea, who was attractive with her striking green eyes and her… proportions. Felix flushed in shame at the thought. There was Mercedes who was maternal and sister-like and not really his type, but definitely pretty. There was even Ashe, adorable and kind, even if he always compared Felix to the knights in the books he read. Even the boar was attractive with his immense strength and the muscles that came with it, not that he'd ever tell a soul. 

He groaned and tried to lull himself to sleep. Though more attractive acquaintances filled his mind, he finally fell asleep and when he awoke the dam would be mended. His focus would be training for the sake of survival as it always was. Romance was not important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave any comments or criticisms and of course kudos are appreciated.  
Tumblr if you wanna chat or something (is empty, but I'll work on it): https://cosmicfrownies.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is met with a few new challenges... and some that have been, unfortunately, recurring as of late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still new to this whole shebang, but I'm enjoying it. This chapter, however, made me change the rating to Teen. Anyway, enjoy!

"Seriously?" Felix said, crossing his arms and huffing. What a joke. 

"Yes, your swordsmanship is excellent and you're dedicated to training, therefore you should branch out," the professor explained, their expression neutral as always. 

"But why reason magic? I can brawl too. I guess I could try bows or something. But reason magic?"

"Felix, I think you should try it out. I have a feeling you'll prove to be quite good at it if you train as diligently as you do with a sword. It is important to have skills for several possibilities. Why do you think I teach Annette faith magic? Or Ashe how to wield a lance?" 

Felix sighed, "I guess you're right, Professor. I still doubt I'll be any good at this."

"Just put forth your best effort and if you're not picking it up, we can try something else. Or you could always ask Professor Hanneman or another student who is proficient in reason magic."

"Thank you…" 

"You're welcome. Now I suggest you pick up some materials from the library and get started," the professor walked off, presumably to talk to another student or to tend to their other duties. 

Felix figured he might as well give it a shot since he was competent on his own and it'd be annoying to ask for somebody else's help. He headed to the library and hoped to find a simple book on reason magic. 

When he arrived at the library he was met with a familiar mop of red hair and groaned. Why couldn't he be out with a girl? 

Sylvain spotted him, smiled, and waved. "Hey, why are you here?" he asked, walking over to Felix.

"Ah, yes, why would I be at a library. Not to find books or anything." Felix walked past Sylvain, trying to find reference books. 

Sylvain chuckled and followed him. "What exactly are you trying to find?" he paused and gasped, "Don't tell me you're looking for steamy romance novels." Felix sensed a smirk that had been engraved in his mind over the years. 

"I'm looking for books on reason magic. And why are you here?" 

"Oh, the same reason funnily enough!"

Felix turned to look at Sylvain. "Why?"

"The professor said that they wanted me to learn reason magic. Something about broadening my horizons or whatever," he shrugged and placed his arms behind his head nonchalantly. 

"They told me the same thing basically," Felix said as he continued browsing the shelves. There were so many books about Fódlan's history and the Church of Saint Seiros, but he still hadn't come across any reference books yet. 

"I wonder what their deal is," Sylvain mused. "I heard they began teaching Annette heavy armor skills at one point. I bet that'd be a funny sight." The image of Annette fully clad in heavy armor was a humorous thought, Felix would admit, but whatever the professor was up to seemed senseless. Maybe the professor is incompetent after all. That would be unfortunate, but he had seen their battle capabilities, so he doubted that was the truth. 

Felix spotted the word 'reason' and there it was, An Introduction to Reason Magic: The Arts of Black and Dark Magic. He grabbed it and flipped it open. Runes and strange symbols filled the page. He turned to another, thankfully he could understand that page. Sylvain peered over his shoulder, his musky cologne filling Felix's senses. "Is that it?"

"I guess so," Felix said, stepping away from Sylvain. 

"Cool. Should we start practicing today?"

"Since when are we working together?"

"Well, we're both learning reason magic with no prior knowledge. It'd be smart to learn together. Plus, we're best friends," Sylvain drew out the last word, grinning. Felix supposed he did have a point though, but it would most likely be a dreadful experience. 

"I guess I have no other choice. Let's go study somewhere else though," Felix made his way out of the library and Sylvain followed. He lead the way to his personal quarters. While the library may have worked, he doubted Lysithea would want to deal with Sylvain's obnoxious nature. 

Sylvain, having noticed where Felix was taking him, said, "Ah, you could've at least bought me dinner first." Felix imagined there was a cheeky wink, but he didn't know since his back was to the boy. He just kept walking until they were both outside his room. 

"So why'd you decide on your own room?" Sylvain asked as he stepped inside Felix's room. 

"You know how Lysithea is and if Linhardt stumbled in and you woke him up, Caspar would come and yell at us both," Felix explained as he closed the door behind them. 

"And it wouldn't be you yelling at me that would wake him up?" Sylvain asked, cocking a brow. Then he just laughed. Sometimes, just sometimes, Felix questioned every decision he had made and why his closest friend was a complete dumbass. 

"Anyway," Felix gritted out, "we should get this over with. I'd like to get some sword training in at some point today, you know."

"You really shouldn't overwork yourself. Maybe a break is needed? We could go to town after this study session, chat up some girls. You can just clear your mind and have a good time." 

Felix wanted to slam his head against his desk, or maybe Sylvain's. It didn't matter. "Why must it always be girls? Unlike some people, I'd actually like to survive and I'm going to work my ass off to make sure I do," Felix spat. 

"Relax, Fe, it was just a suggestion. I just think it's good to get out there and have a good time every now and then. We don't have to though. How about we just have a nice, cozy meal at the dining hall after this?" Sylvain asked, and with that damned nickname and his eyebrows creased in concern, Felix really couldn't refuse. 

He sighed, "Fine, but tomorrow I'm eating alone. Let's just get this over with, you're already pissing me off."

The two boys got to work, reading over paragraphs upon paragraphs of information about reason magic. There was information about the history of reason magic, which Felix wanted to skip over, but Sylvain insisted they read just in case. Then there was the theoretical nonsense about getting into the "right mindset" or whatever. Felix didn't care about any of that, he'd be fine without it. 

"This is nonsense," Felix huffed.

"Yeah, I agree, but it could be useful."

Felix shrugged and continued reading. They still hadn't gotten to anything remotely interesting and if Felix were to be honest, it didn't make much sense. With a blade, one could just swing and, sure, there was a lot of technique and practice involved and one did need to focus, but it was nothing like any of this. Wielding a sword was practically instinct, even as a child, at least for Felix. Reason magic seemed to have a lot more involved, but if someone as clumsy and scatterbrained as Annette could do it, then so could he. Then again, there was that insurmountable amount of effort she put into everything she did. It was rather admirable, but now wasn't the time to ponder on such things. He focused on the book in front of him and continued reading. 

Sylvain groaned and turned towards Felix. "Listen, this is important and all, but I think we've done enough for today."

"For once, I agree with you," Felix said as he closed the book. 

"Studying in here was nice," Sylvain smiled. "There were no stunning girls to distract me, I was able to really focus for once. Should we study here tomorrow too?" Sylvain's words… they didn't hurt, but they left a weird feeling, kind of like a weird taste in one's mouth after drinking a new tea. Felix thought about how the professor would most likely invite him to tea over the weekend and he had to refrain from rolling his eyes. Regardless, Sylvain actually wasn't too bad for once, maybe he had a knack for reason magic? That'd be annoying. 

"I guess we can. Let's just go to dinner, and remember, I'm going to eat alone tomorrow. You can go find a girl or annoy Ingrid or whatever else you do. Just don't bother me."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I think I heard some cute girls talking about a new type of cake at the bakery in town. I think I'll ask one of them out tomorrow." 

Felix did roll his eyes at that. "I never could understand the deal with cake. It's not that great."

"People have different tastes, some people aren't big on meat."

"I know that, but meat is good and it has protein. Food is meant to keep us alive, there's no need to savor it."

"Let's agree to disagree, yeah?" Sylvain placed his arms behind his neck, smirking and eyes twinkling. 

"Sure." Felix turned on his heels and walked out the door, heading towards the dining hall. He heard Sylvain chuckle and quickly fall into step beside him. Nothing much was said on their walk to the dining hall though. 

*****

Once again Felix was alone in his room. He had already changed into his nightclothes and was just laying in bed. It was a productive day and Felix let out a sigh of relief at the thought. He never did get around to sword training though. Learning reason magic was kind of confusing, but he'd work hard to excel. Sylvain would probably slack off and spend his time flirting with girls instead of practicing. Felix grew annoyed at the thought. He couldn't imagine how somebody would so easily throw away an opportunity for a fruitless love. Even the small reward of getting off wasn't more important than training, was it?

Felix groaned at the thought. Being a teenager had its merits, but it was also a strange and uncomfortable time. Perhaps Sylvain had it right, but perhaps different people had different ways of life and it was alright. It's not like Felix would want to do anything of sorts with anybody… Right? 

He thought about it. Dorothea was pretty, but it didn't seem right. Mercedes was too much like a sister. Ingrid was sort of like a sister he supposed? She was pretty, but they were just good friends. Annette was cute and pure and it seemed entirely wrong. Dimitri was physically attractive, but Felix couldn't stomach the thought. Sylvain was good-looking too, but that was his best friend. 

Felix realized where his thoughts had begun to drift to. Dammit, this happens too much these days. He sighed as he did far too often as of late and attempted to push the thoughts out of his mind. 

He was frustrated, however he was glad his right arm was good for more than swinging a sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading again! I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to comment criticisms or what you liked below.
> 
> Tumblr if you wanna chat or something (is empty, but I'll work on it): https://cosmicfrownies.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain are in the midst of battle when something surprising happens. The rest is just a usual day in the Blue Lions house and Felix and Sylvain are invited to a seminar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so it's been over a month, sorry about that. I've been a bit busy working on Christmas gifts and school and just relaxing, y'know? I hope everybody had a good Christmas or a good holiday season in general. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's a bit longer than usual, so there's that.

Felix huffed as he just finished off a bandit, his lifeless body and sword thrown to the ground. These damn bandits never got the hint did they? He wondered if he’d ever see a Fódlan without bandits. Damn, he shook his head, now’s not the time to think. As he focused on the battlefield before him, a bandit charged past him. He spun around on his heels and saw exactly where the man was headed to. A mess of red hair that just so happened to be facing the other way, focused on an archer. 

He ran after the bandit, sword in hand, ready to swing. “Rargh!” He swung at the man with an axe, but the bandit blocked his swing. “Damn,” he gritted. An axe swung at him, but Felix quickly dodged. His sword flew through the air once more and was blocked yet again. The two men stood there, weapons locked, staring at each other in complete determination. Felix stole a quick glance at Sylvain, whose back was still turned and who was now against a swordswoman, and he regretted it as soon as he did so. His sword was forced out of his grip and knocked to the ground. 

The bandit once again charged towards Sylvain. “Damn you!” Felix shouted, gritting his teeth. Heat rushed through his arms and filled his palms with warmth. A glow was emitted from his hands. Felix recognized what was happening. He moved his arm out toward the bandit and watched in awe as sparks flew out and onto the man, engulfing him in a thunderous light. He was astonished.

Felix rushed over to the man who was definitely dead. The no-good bandit just lay there, still and lifeless. This time, however, there was no blood on Felix’s hands, or clothes, or anywhere. It was weird. 

“Way to go, man!” Sylvain shouted and patted Felix’s back. Apparently that swordswoman had been no trouble for Sylvain. Felix supposed it wasn’t a bad thing. “I’ll admit, I’m kinda jealous you got the hang of reason magic before I did.” Sylvain chuckled and threw his hands behind his head as he always did. 

Felix felt the urge to hit Sylvain. “You almost got killed, dumbass. You need to pay more attention to your surroundings.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you’ve got my back,” Sylvain winked.

Felix sighed, “I shouldn’t have to watch it for you.” 

“You know I’d do the same.” Felix just groaned. 

Felix surveyed the battlefield and noticed that the only ones left were the Blue Lions. He was relieved in an odd sense. Sure, every other soldier had died, but the death of a Blue Lion would leave weird feelings behind. “Nevermind that,” Felix said, “let’s just go.” Felix began walking towards the rest of the Lions where they’d have a sort of post-battle discussion. Felix generally tuned them out, he loved a good battle but couldn’t be bothered to care about whatever strategy the Professor wanted them to try out or whatever remarks each of his house mates had to say. 

*****  
“So I heard you managed you use some reason magic,” Annette began, falling into step with Felix as they made their trip back to the monastery. “That’s great! It took me a while to be able to conjure up any sort of magic. You’re such a quick learner! Although I’m surprised Sylvain hasn’t managed to make any sparks fly yet… Well, he’d probably be better with fire, yeah? I guess thunder suits you though. It’s so cool! Just like you!” She kept babbling on about reason magic and how skilled Felix was. He often enjoyed listening to Annette, especially her songs, but she had a tendency to ramble on about something for a while and Felix would just zone out. It was rather cute though, not that Felix would ever say anything about it, it was just nice to see somebody so passionate and exuberant he supposed. 

“What do you think, Felix?” Annette asked, shaking Felix out of his thoughts. Damn, I didn’t hear what she asked. 

“Uhh… yeah?” 

She pouted and huffed, “Felix, you weren’t listening? Fine, I’ll ask again. What do you think about a seminar with Professor Hanneman on reason magic? You can ask Sylvain too! It might be nice to hear about reason magic from another perspective, you know? His teachings help me out a lot, so I think you and Sylvain would benefit a lot!” She practically beamed. 

Felix hummed, “I’d much rather be practicing my swordsmanship, you can ask that fool himself though.” 

“No, no, you’ve gotta go! I think it will help you out a lot! You’re always training with a sword, you need to try something else for a change.”

“Fine. I’ll ask Sylvain later.” 

“Thank you!” She smiled at him and skipped over to Mercedes, they began chatting away and laughing . 

Felix sighed, he supposed a seminar wouldn’t be too bad. After all, the Professor wanted him to improve his reason magic skills, so it’d have to be done sooner or later. Now he’d just have to make sure that the red-headed dumbass would go rather than going out and chatting up ladies as he often did. 

They arrived at the monastery and the sun was already beginning to set. The Professor headed off to report to Lady Rhea about their mission and most of the other students went in the direction of the dining hall. Felix supposed he’d eat as well and hopefully he could find Sylvain and tell him about the damn seminar. 

He had gotten his food and noticed Sylvain at a table with Ingrid, Ashe, Dedue, and… the Boar. He groaned. He didn’t want to sit next to him or look at him. Thankfully Ashe and Dedue were seated next to him on both sides and Ingrid was across from him. Felix sat himself next to Ashe, who smiled at him, “Hello! Congratulations on picking up reason magic.” 

“Thank you.” He looked to Sylvain, “Hey, Annette told me about a seminar with Hanneman, do you want to go?” 

“That depends on if I have plans,” he winked. 

“Do you want to learn reason magic or not?” 

“Fine, fine, I’ll go. I can’t have you being too much better than me at reason magic, y’know?” He smirked and then laughed. 

“Maybe if you actually spent time training you’d be able to perform magic,” Ingrid chimed in. Felix agreed completely. That man needed to show more dedication to his training and studies instead of women and his hormones. 

“Yeah, yeah, cut down on the ladies, I know. I just can’t help it, they’re all so lovely and how could I possibly say no to a sweet lady?”

“Just like that, ‘no’.” Felix said.

“It’s not that easy, Felix. Then again I’m sure you’d have no trouble rejecting a beautiful lady. How terrible of you.” 

“While I understand chivalry is important to you, you should not disregard your personal studies and training. Those are just as important to becoming a successful knight,” Dimitri said. Felix wanted to spit at him, that damned Boar, always going on about chivalry. Like he’d know anything about it. 

“Yeah, chivalry is very important, but the knights in books always had to work hard for their titles,” Ashe nodded at himself. Not him too. Always going on about chivalry and trying to compare Felix to those knights. He sighed, he supposed he couldn’t be too upset with Ashe, but the Boar was a different story. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll try harder with my studies. I wouldn’t want to disappoint the Professor, would I? And I’ll try harder in my training, wouldn’t want to disappoint His Highness, or the rest of you guys,” Sylvain winked again. 

“Now, there’s no need for that,” Dimitri chuckled. “I’m glad you’re taking things more seriously.” 

The rest of their meal continued with other assorted chatter, ranging from Sylvain’s latest stupidity, Dedue’s gardening stories, Annette’s cooking mishaps, and the upcoming battles and missions. Felix finished his last bite and got up from the table, not caring to hear the rest of their mundane chatter. He put his plate and utensils on the counter, thanked the kitchen staff, and walked out. The cool night breeze hit his face and he savored it until he heard footsteps behind him. 

“Hey,” an all-too-familiar voice rang out. 

“What do you want?” Felix didn’t bother to turn around and acknowledge Sylvain, he just kept walking. 

“Thanks for earlier, I mean it.” 

“Yeah, you’ve said that already.” 

“I know, but I’m really grateful. I guess I really do need to get my act together, huh?” 

“Yeah, took you long enough to figure it out.”

“I guess this is why someone like you is better at magic than me,” Sylvain mused. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Felix turned to look at Sylvain. 

“I don’t know, you’re just a lot more dedicated and stuff, you know?” 

“It’s not that hard to do the same,” Felix informed him.

“Yeah, I know that, but do people really think I senselessly chat up ladies? That I have no reason to? That I’m some women-obsessed idiot?”

“And you’re not?” Felix asked. 

“No,” Sylvain hit him lightly on the shoulder, “obviously not,” he sighed. “It’s always the same, people view me as this shallow shell of myself. Just a man who is obsessed with women and who has everything perfect in the world. They only see my Crest and they only see a small portion of my actions. They never see any other aspects of me,” Sylvain huffed. He was on the edge and Felix knew it. He never knew how to deal with these sorts of things. Empathy wasn’t his forte, but he knew Sylvain well. 

He was hesitant, he put a hand on Sylvain’s back and hoped it was somewhat comforting. “You’re not alone in that. People view Dimitri as this perfect, princely man and ignore the complete animal he is. People view me as an object of pity or just Glenn’s brother. When you’re noble, people don’t know the true you and don’t care to.” He looked over to Sylvain, those words were not characteristic of himself, but were true nevertheless. Sylvain looked to him and gave him a weak, shaky smile. 

“Thank you, Felix. You’re right,” he laughed. “People will always view me incorrectly. I can’t let that bother me, can I?”

“No, I definitely don’t let it get to me.”

“But you’re Felix and that indifference is just part of your charm,” he laughed at Felix and nudged him in the shoulder, causing Felix to realize that his arm was still nearly wrapped around Sylvain as they walked through the courtyard. That just seemed weird and uncomfortable and had strange… implications. He swiftly removed his arm from Sylvain’s back and continued walking at a quicker pace. 

“Anyway, thank you, seriously. What would I do without you or Ingrid? I’d probably be in a ditch somewhere after doing something completely foolish,” he chuckled.

Felix didn’t know how to feel about the thought. “I’m pretty sure that will happen to you anyway if you keep it up.”

“Ouch. How could you possibly give up on me? Don’t make me rely on the Crown Prince.” 

“I’m just saying, if you keep your nonsense up,” Felix shrugged. Maybe that Boar deserved to deal with this dumbass all the time. Maybe Sylvain would end up like that animal though. 

“I feel so loved, I just need to hug you to express my immense gratitude towards you and your constant kindness.” 

“Don’t,” Felix warned. 

“Ah, maybe next time. At least my ladies provide me with the contact comfort I need.” 

“I think you can deal with being a little touch-starved. Now goodnight,” Felix said as they arrived at the dorms. 

“Goodnight!” 

Felix walked to his room, Sylvain behind him, it was sort of awkward, but Felix was tired. He changed and plopped into bed, too tired to think of anything else. Perhaps it was a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading as always! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. (Hopefully I didn't make Annette super annoying, I love her, but she's very exuberant, y'know?) I write this story and figure things out as I go, so hopefully it's good so far. 
> 
> Have a good new year since I most likely won't post again until afterwards! I look forward to writing more in 2020 and I hope you all will continue reading next year as well! Thank you again for reading and the kudos I've gotten. I appreciate them.
> 
> Tumblr if you wanna chat or something (is empty, but I'll work on it): https://cosmicfrownies.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ethereal Moon has begun and Felix is left with thoughts of the White Heron Cup. He trains among other things and has a fairly typical day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, happy new year! In this chapter things begin to get a bit more interesting towards the middle and end. I hope you enjoy and I hope 2020 will treat you well! 
> 
> (Cryptically horny Felix is back, sorry)

The signature chill of the Ethereal Moon hit Felix as the breeze brushed against his skin. The last moon of the year. It was generally a peaceful moon, save for the White Heron Cup. He groaned at the thought. He would save those troubles for another time however, he needed to deal with more important matters. 

Breakfast was a refreshing meal in silence since he happened to rise a bit later than Sylvain and other loud mouths like Raphael, Ferdinand, and Lorenz. At least Raphael didn't constantly go on about nobility and he was rather dedicated to training, or strength at least. Felix didn't mind him, he was just loud. But with all of that out of the way, he was ready to begin training. It was the weekend, but Felix wasn't going to slack off on his swordsmanship. 

The training grounds were almost empty, aside from Caspar and Catherine, but they weren't too much of a bother. Sure, Caspar was obnoxious, but he wasn't a bad sparring partner. However, Felix wasn't in the mood to spar with anybody. He simply wanted to maintain some peace for one day of his life. Just a day without a boar, without a redheaded idiot's shenanigans, and without any other nonsense. 

He practiced several different techniques and ended up sparring against Catherine which he really didn't mind. Catherine was incredibly strong and knew how to wield a sword like no other. Felix had a lot to learn from somebody like that. Catherine had left to tend to some other duties and Caspar had left a while back, leaving Felix alone in the training grounds. He put his sword down and took a quick break to grab some water. 

The doors burst open and Felix spun around, in came the Professor, rushing in. Their eyes met Felix's and they sighed in relief, walking over to him. Felix put down his water and just gave them a questioning look. 

"Hello, Felix," they greeted him with a blank expression. 

"Uhh… hi."

"Is training going well today?"

"Yes, Catherine taught me some new techniques."

"That's good to hear. I heard about you using Thunder as well, you're a quick learner."

"Ah, thank you…" Felix wasn't sure what the Professor wanted, but he supposed it was important for them to check in on students. 

"I think you've trained quite a bit today, would you like to have tea with me?" 

"Fine," Felix said. He should've expected this. The Professor liked to have tea with many of the students and other faculty members. He noticed they'd often have tea with people like Bernadetta, Marianne, and himself. It must be something to get them out of their shells or something. Felix thought it was stupid, but he didn't really mind a nice cup of tea every now and then. 

He cleaned up with the Professor's help and they headed to the courtyard together, idly chatting about the weather and upcoming missions. 

"Are you alright being out here in this weather?" the Professor asked him.

"It's fine." Faerghus was a cold place and Felix had been there for the majority of his life up until his time at the academy. The weather there was no problem at all. 

"Alright, well I'll prepare some tea." They got to work, brewing some tea. The aroma of Almyran Pine Needle tea filled Felix's senses. He breathed it in, humming in content. 

"My favorite tea," Felix said. The Professor nodded, placing the tea set on the table. They poured him and themself a cup. 

"I'm proud of you for using reason magic in the last battle," they said. 

"It just happened. Sylvain wasn't paying attention and a bandit went after him. It sort of just conjured up from there once the sword was knocked out of my grip…" Felix sipped his tea, it was brewed really well he had to admit.

The professor hummed and nodded. "Regardless, you're learning at a rapid pace. I knew I saw potential in you. I suppose it's also due to your own ambition to get stronger, yes?"

"Maybe," he said. Felix had never really considered his success in reason magic to be about his personal ambitions. Sure, he wanted to become stronger for the sake of survival, but he had never thought about reason magic in the same way. 

"I think it might be at least. Have you considered partnering up with Annette or Mercedes for training yet?"

"Not yet, but I'll be going to Hanneman's seminar next week."

"That's good. Will Sylvain be going as well?"

"He should be, unless he ditches last minute to fool around." 

"Well if he's as serious about it as he's been saying, then he will attend," the Professor stated. Felix nodded and hoped that Sylvain would take something a bit serious for once. 

"Anyway, Professor, I do appreciate what you do for me. Learning reason magic has been a valuable experience so far," Felix admitted. 

He noticed a slight tinge of red that dusted over the Professor's cheeks. "Thank you," they said.

Felix finished his cup of tea and the Professor did as well. "Thanks for your hospitality. I hope you'll invite me again some time." 

"It's no problem, Felix." Felix nodded at that and began to walk back. Maybe he'd do some more training. 

"Felix," he turned around at the Professor's voice. 

"What?" 

"Would you like to the Blue Lions' representative for the White Heron Cup?" the Professor asked.

Felix blankly stared at them. Dammit. Why me? He couldn't really refuse, could he? If the Professor saw him as the best fit… for whatever reason, he supposed he couldn't. 

"Fine, but don't be upset if we don't win," he told them. 

The Professor nodded, "Thank you, we'll do a lesson later before the dance to get you prepared." 

"Alright." 

They parted ways and Felix decided to just head to dinner. He didn't want to be the representative, but he needed to trust the Professor's judgment. The White Heron dance didn't seem like Felix's cup of tea, but he could just do his thing and leave. There was no reason to mingle or invite a girl to dance, he didn't need more people to deal with on the regular. 

*****  
Dinner was peaceful as well. Felix was able to enjoy a nice meal of Daphnel Stew. It was delicious and even better that there was no talk of chivalry or hitting on girls. 

It wasn't too late in the evening, so Felix decided to head to the library. Training sounded nice, but he knew the Professor wouldn't have approved, not that he particularly cared. They always warned him not to train too much, but Felix knew better than to do too much training. Although he doubted he had too much of a limit. 

He would look for another book on reason magic since he was getting near the end of the other one he had been reading. Granted, the book was filled with a lot of theory and history of reason magic, but there was still a good bit of material. There was a lot about getting into the correct mindset, which Felix found surprisingly easy. Then there were several basic spells and tips on conjuring up some magic among other things. It was strange to think he had nearly mastered basic reason magic, but he did work rather hard. Especially since reading was not his forte, he much preferred actively doing something. 

There were many shelves in the library lined with many types of educational books. He found his way to the magic section which contained dozens of books on faith, black, and dark magic. One in particular caught his eye, An Intermediate Guide to the Art of Black Magic. Well, if he had a beginner's book, an intermediate book seemed to be the next logical step. 

He flipped through the pages, this one thankfully had no dark magic, which was extremely confusing to both Felix and Sylvain. There seemed to be even more history and theoretical nonsense, but Felix doubted that it was of any importance. 

It seemed to be a good fit so he decided to take it with him. He'd have to let Sylvain know that he found a new book next time he saw him. 

There was nothing else for him to look for in the library, the other magic books were not of his interest or just seemed too complicated. With that, he left the library and decided it would be best to head to his room. He'd have to figure out the whole White Heron thing too. 

He wasn't particularly charming and he couldn't dance well. He knew basic moves from his childhood, of course, being forced to go to several dances and balls had taught him something over the years. Wouldn't somebody like Sylvain have been a better choice? He was able to charm the skirts off of many women, literally, and knew how to dance much better than Felix. Even somebody like Annette would've been a better choice. Sure, she was a klutz, but she had a certain charm about her. Mercedes wasn't a bad dancer either and she was pretty. 

Felix just didn't understand why it had to have been him of all people. At least she didn't pick the damn boar, he thought. 

"Hey, Felix!" he practically jumped out of his skin. These damn people were always sneaking up on him. 

He looked to see who it was and… of course. He swore this happened too often. "What do you want?" 

"I was just seeing what you were up to, walking around by yourself on this fine evening. Were you going to meet up with some beautiful lady or something?" 

"For the last time, no. I just went to the library and found another book on reason magic." 

"Oh, cool. I guess that beginner's stuff was too easy for you, huh? Look at you go, Fe," Felix felt Sylvain's gaze upon him. He looked up at the taller boy and saw a sort of warm gaze. His ears began to heat up and his cheeks were probably red. Damn. 

"There was just a lot of history and lore in the first book. There wasn't much instruction. I know you aren't too shabby at it either. So stop it."

"Aw, thanks," Sylvain wrapped his arm around Felix. "Anyway, have you heard anything about the White Heron Cup? I heard Professor Manuela chose Dorothea. I'm hoping Professor Hanneman will pick Hilda. That'd be a sight to see. Maybe the Professor will pick Mercedes, yeah?" 

"Uh… the Professor picked me…" 

"Seriously?" Sylvain stopped walking and just stared at Felix, mouth agape. 

"Yeah, I have no idea why," he crossed his arms. 

Sylvain hummed, giving Felix a once-over, analyzing him probably. It took everything in Felix not to squirm under his gaze. He diverted his eye contact. 

"I guess you could pull it off, you've got a cute charm about you. Something the ladies would like. Do you want to practice dancing together? I can give you some tips," he winked. 

Cute??? Cute? Charm? What? Felix wasn't sure what Sylvain meant by that. Girls never came to him like they did to Sylvain. He couldn't have been that charming. Maybe Sylvain just never stopped his incessant flattery. That was probably it. He realized that Sylvain was still waiting for his answer. 

"No."

Sylvain looked like a disappointed puppy or something as he frowned. "It'd be fun! Plus, then you can really woo the ladies with your skills. I'm just trying to help you out."

"No. I'm already going to do a lesson with the Professor. I don't want your 'lessons'". 

"There's no need to put it that way, but I see it. You're into older ones. I get it, they've got a certain charm about them. I guess it makes sense," he nodded and winked. "Good luck!" 

Felix just glared at Sylvain. "You completely missed the mark." 

"It's ok, no need to hide it. I wish you the best. They're an attractive person, I get it. I've gotta go now, I've got some other plans, y'know? See you tomorrow." Sylvain waved and walked off towards the other set of dorms. Felix sighed and headed to his dorm for the night. 

The Professor was attractive, he could see that. Androgynous and mysterious, people found that sort of thing attractive a lot. Being attracted to a teacher was just weird though. Manuela was good looking, but she was also probably twice his age and a drunken mess most of the time. Also, the thought in general was just wrong. Damn Sylvain, always bringing his thoughts towards these topics. 

That way Sylvain stared at him though… if somebody had looked at him like that with a bit hunger in their eyes, he didn't think he'd mind much, not that that's the look he got... Just not Sylvain. Damn it. Damn you, Sylvain! He wanted to shout. His thoughts were going into really strange territory. 

He knew his best friend was attractive, much in the same way that the Boar was (even if he hated to admit it). He could recognize when another dude was good-looking, but that didn't mean anything. Right? He thought about Annette and Mercedes. They always complimented each other about their looks, but they didn't like girls, right? Well, Mercedes might have, he wasn't sure. 

Girls recognize each other's beauty and it isn't weird, so it's fine for a guy to do it. Yeah. Felix wasn't entirely sure, but it seemed better than the alternative. 

Well, it was probably just hormones, yeah? Those damn hormones always made people think weird things. Being a teenager was seriously weird. 

He just decided to go to bed and hoped his dreams wouldn't be too strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. I think we know where things are beginning to head, slowly but surely. For now, let's just worry about the dance, yeah? (Dancing lessons with the two of them would've been cute, but alas, Felix is Felix). Also, since the professor is gender-neutral that one part was kinda weird, but, y'know. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @cosmicfrownies. Let's chat and stuff!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! Please feel free to leave any comments or criticisms that you feel are necessary, I appreciate them a lot.
> 
> Tumblr (is empty, but I'll work on it): https://cosmicfrownies.tumblr.com/


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